We all know how important it is to take a break and yet it’s easier said then done.

How do you find the time when life is so busy already.  I don’t know about you, but I find that things just seem to keep speeding up. There’s always more to do and I can never seem to get caught up.

Last week we got a call from our very good friends inviting us to their cabin in a secluded area of the Sunshine Coast in British Columbia.  Their cabin is surrounded by acres of old growth forest, on the ocean, accessible only by boat.  It is the most amazing tranquil place you can imagine.  For the last few years it’s been an annual event.

This year I found myself hesitating, thinking I couldn’t afford the time.  Right now we’re making so many changes in the business.  I’ve hired a number of people to help me and still we’re swamped.

I felt torn.

Finally I decided to go.  When I was telling a client about it they asked me how I had come to the decision, because it seems to be a common dilemma.

It wasn’t easy.  But, what I realized, is there would never be a good time to get away.  When you’re in business, you’re always busy and that’s the way it should be.  If it’s a slow time in terms of revenue, you have to work on increasing your revenue and when revenue is good, it’s a matter of maintaining and always being one step ahead.

It really comes down to your beliefs and values.

I believe that for me to achieve what I want in my life and my business I need to be rested, focused and have clarity of direction.  I believe that if I want to perform optimally, I have to have a way to replenish myself. Sometimes the best way to get the job done means taking a break so I can approach things with a fresh perspective.  And from the personal side, I value time spent with my friends.

I don’t believe their are any hard and fast rules.

Every time we’re faced with options, we have to apply our decision making strategy to that specific situation.  That way when you make the decision, you know it’s the right one.

So I’m now back, feeling refreshed and ready to go.  And the bonus for me was that because nature inspires me,  I even came up with a strategy for my video products as I walked through the forest chatting with my friend.

Creating a balance between work and play is very important. If we want to see growth in our business,we do need to make choices that keep our life balanced, even when work feels more important at the time. When we do we will see the benefits in every area of our life.

They believe the only way to recover is to cut back on spending.

I realized every business owner is faced with the same question.  Not only are we faced with it in terms of our business, but also whether or not to invest in ourselves in order to grow and move forward.

How are you approaching your economic situation?

Perhaps the answer is that there is no standard procedure and that it’s more important to have a strategy to evaluate each opportunity based on your specific goals and criteria.   There will be times when it’s important to invest in your business and yourself and  other times when it’s not.  Only you know the right decision for you.

As a leader, you need to:

• do what it takes to get the job done
• believe in yourself
• trust your decisions
• be willing to pay the consequences
• overcome whatever obstacles get in your way

It made me think about how many times I’ve been presented with an “opportunity” and how stressful this can be.  I’m sure we’ve all heard people say things  regarding opportunities, such as “opportunity only knocks once at your door” ” this is the opportunity of a life time” ” if I pass up this opportunity, I’ll never have this chance again”.  One question I have is why is it so stressful if it’s truly an opportunity?

In my client’s case, she had a feeling that something just wasn’t right about this but couldn’t put her finger on what it was.   Sometimes you have to just trust that feeling because there is generally a basis for it, it’s simply that you can’t consciously pin-point what you saw or heard that is giving you the feeling.

The best way to decide if this really is an “opportunity” for you or if it’s just an “opportunity” for the person making the proposal, is to measure and critique it according to your vision and goals.  You also have to use your values as criteria because that’s where our motivation comes from and that’s also how we evaluate our progress and accomplishments.  If you just take it at face value without considering it within the context of your life or your business and what’s important to you and where you’re going,  you’ll probably find yourself going in circles.

To help you determine if this is a good opportunity for you, there are 2 sets of questions to ask yourself:

1.  Does this opportunity help me to meet my goals?  Will this move me closer to or farther from what I want to achieve this year?

2.  Are the people involved aligned with my values?  Take a look at how they present themselves.  Is this how you’d want to be represented?  What kind of language do they use to capture your attention?  Is it towards motivation or away from?  By their actions, do they value what you value?

In my clients case, the answer to the first set of questions was no, this would move me farther away from my goals for the year.  In answer to the second set of questions, it was clear that their values were also not aligned.  By focusing on vision, goals and values, it only took a few minutes for my client to come to the conclusion that this really was not an opportunity for her.

The more clarity you have around who you are and where you’re going, the easier it is to determine if this really is an opportunity.

It’s not about whether it’s an opportunity for anyone else, it’s simply about whether or not it’s an opportunity for you.

When we’re young and innocent, we see the world as a place of possibility and at some point, for many people, that changes.

We just spent the afternoon at our granddaughter’s school concert.  She was so excited about the concert.  She was in the choir.  She has been practising and practising and couldn’t wait to perform.

The best part was that she was telling her mom what a good singer she is, really good.  And because she felt good about being a good singer, she sang her heart out.

When did it stop being ok to be proud of what we can do well? And to tell other people that we’re good?  When did we begin to hear the words “it’s not good to brag” or “don’t be conceited”.  Why is it only ok when we’re very young?  So many teens lack self-confidence and have low self-esteem, which often stays with them into adulthood.  What if we continued to encourage them to share when they feel good about an accomplishment?

Why do we have to play small and hide our joy and pride in our abilities to do well?

When I was in my teens, I was Miss BC Lions.  I didn’t invite anyone to the event when I was chosen, not even my family.  It was years before I would tell anyone about being Miss BC Lions because it would have sounded as if I was bragging.  How sad.   I was so conditioned that even now I think twice about it after alllll…….. these years.  No I won’t tell you how many.

What would our world be like if we could share our accomplishments that bring us joy, as well as our challenges.  Imagine the confidence we would build within ourselves when we could acknowledge our own wins.  Who says it’s not ok.  Everyone has things they’re proud of.  We all have different natural abilities and skills. Why hide your greatness.

The more you acknowledge your greatness the more you’re able to acknowledge other people’s greatness.   That is one of the indicators of high self-esteem.

What are you proud of?  What accomplishments have you achieved that you really want to share? It doesn’t have to be something big, just something that makes you feel good when you think about it.

I’d love to hear some of the things that you really feel good about and haven’t felt right about sharing.

Communication is the most overlooked reason for failing to achieve our outcomes and goals.  Rapport is a word which is often misused and seldom given the respect it deserves.  It is one of the most important elements in successful communication.  Our ability to connect with people, to inspire, motive or influence people is based on our ability to build rapport.  When people have trouble communicating, they most often struggle for more words to prove their point or stand their ground.  The words won’t help if rapport is missing.

What is rapport?  Rapport is an unconscious process which at times happens naturally and at other times must be skillfully established.

When we have rapport, we have trust, acceptance of ideas and openness and receptivity to our ideas.

People often think that they can build rapport by chatting about common experiences.  This is only one small element.  Your tone of voice and your physiology are the major components of rapport.

In our NLP Practitioner training we have participants do an exercise which is in 2 parts.  The first part is sitting with someone and discussing a topic which you both agree on and as you discuss this topic, you pay no attention to the person you’re speaking to.  You deliberately look around the room, check your phone, tie your shoe any number of distracting things.  We call this mismatching your physiology.  The second part of of the exercise is finding a topic you both disagree on and during this discussion, you match the body posture of each other.  At the end of the exercise we ask participants which one did they feel most comfortable and connected in.  In every instance it was the second part.  Even though their opinion differed, they felt connected and were interested in the other person’s opinion.  Matching physiology is very powerful.

The reason for this is that a large part of building rapport is matching our body posture and the second part is matching our tone of voice and the least important part is the words you speak.

Whether you want to sell yourself, your ideas, or your product, you will only be successful if you have established rapport first.  It is also important to be aware that , just because you establish rapport initially, doesn’t mean it’s there for the duration of the conversation.  Not only do you have to establish it, you have to maintain it throughout the conversation.  Agreement presupposes rapport.  The moment you disagree, rapport has been lost and you’ll find that your physiology and tonality are no longer aligned with that person.  It’s a natural result.  Before going any farther, you must stop promoting your idea, go back in the conversation to the point you had agreement, reestablish rapport and then you  can continue moving forward and be in a position of influence.

By developing skills that build rapport, you’ll be amazed at how much this will positively impact the bottom line of your business.  If you’re serious about your business, get serious about building rapport.

The only thing between you and your desires is your beliefs.  Your beliefs determine your success in all areas of your life because they drive your behaviour.  Beliefs are the thoughts we have about ourselves, other people and the world, that fuel our actions.

The thing about beliefs is that we live our life as if they’re true and yet we’ve just made them up.  The good news is that we can change them.

Our core beliefs are formed at a very early age.  It is  believed they are formed between 0 and 7 years of age.  The is a time when we are like sponges, taking everything we hear as true with no ability to logically challenge anything.  That’s how we learn and how we form our core beliefs and values.

Other beliefs are added as we live our life.

There comes a time in your life when it is important to challenge some of the things you hold true.  Based on what you want to achieve in your life, do your beliefs serve to move you closer to your goals or farther away?  Do they support you or limit you?

The first step to achieving a goal is a deep desire to achieve it.  When it’s a true desire you can feel it as if you already have it.  You can see what it’s like, hear what’s going on around you, you are so emotionally attached to achieving your desire that you can almost taste it.

The second step is to discover if you have any beliefs that are going to stop you from achieving your goal.  When you believe you can do it or have it you’ll find a way.  When you don’t have that strong belief, you’ll be stopped by challenges or obstacles.

Often the beliefs that elude you the most are the ones that are having the most impact on your life. They are so deeply ingrained that you don’t recognize them as beliefs.

There are 3 ways to identify your limiting beliefs.

1.  How you respond to others

Pay attention to how you respond to others.  When you have a negative emotional response to another person or situation, notice what you’re saying to yourself when you get the feeling or what you’re thinking to yourself.  Are you judging them or yourself?  Are you negating what they say?  Are you defending yourself in some way?  The words that come to you are your beliefs.

Often we get so caught up in our emotion that we miss the important message.  It’s never about the other person, it’s always about ourselves.  What does this tell you about yourself and your limitations?

2.  Reflection

What is your life reflecting back to you?  What are your results showing or telling you? The question to ask yourself is “what must I believe in order to have these results in my life?”

Look at all areas of your life.  Do you have the relationship you want?  Do you have the career you want?  Do you have the friends and support you want in your life?  Do you have the money you want in your life?  If not, my question to you is “what’s stopping you from having it now?”.

For example if you don’t have enough money there will be any number of underlying belief that supports you, such as, this is a slow economy, nobody is making money,  times are  tough, it’s hard to make good money, I don’t have enough education, I don’t have enough time, I’m not lucky………..and the list goes on.

The problem with these beliefs is that when you hold them, you act as if they are true which means you accept the consequences of them and don’t look to overcome your situation.

3.  Continuing Life Patterns

Notice if you have any patterns that you seem to repeat in your life.  Do you always end relationships?  Do you spend more money then you make?  Do pay off your bills only to stack the up again?  Do you reach a level of success and then something happens so you have to start over again?  Do you continually attract people into your life who aren’t trustworthy?  Are you constantly struggling to get ahead?

In order to recognize the patterns, you have to be willing to see them without judgement.  Some of the patterns may permeate more than one area of your life.  Often there are clusters of beliefs that are linked together, so it’s important to get to the clusters.

Once you recognize your limiting beliefs and how they’ve limited you in your life, it’s time to change them. When I work with a client to change those limiting beliefs the transformation is remarkable.  Once they’ve eliminated those elusive, invisible barriers, they are able to move forward to live the lifestyle they desire.

In the last while I’ve had an opportunity to explore the structure of our beliefs more fully.  In particular, how our beliefs impact our business success and our leadership abilities.  The subject has fascinated me for a very long time.  I’ve watched how beliefs can make or break a person.  I’ve watched people who from my perspective are amazing and accomplished and yet they believe the exact opposite of themselves.  And it’s not what I believe that counts, it’s what they believe. I’ve seen how this limits them in their life.  Not necessarily with what they accomplish, but  in how they feel about what they’ve accomplished.

Often the people who have achieved the most feel they’ve achieved the least.

Self-worth and self-esteem are also tied to our beliefs about ourselves.  Your self esteem is based on how you think and feel about yourself based on our self concept. Your self-worth is based on your evaluation of your self-concept.  And your self concept is what you believe about yourself .  This is very powerful since your beliefs shape your destiny and guide your behaviour.

I met an amazing young woman in Hawaii a number of years ago.  She was 29 at the time.  She was an artist.  I met her at the Kona Art Center in Holualoa.  She was very  successful with her paintings.  Her originals were so much in demand that they limited the sale of them to only once a year.

She was very excited about her art and very goal oriented.  She was always striving to learn more and achieve more.  Beyond her art, she won 23 medals swimming, performed in the local theatre and had a desire to go to college and become a playwright.

What makes her even more amazing is that she was born with what is commonly known as Downs Syndrome.  She believed that she could overcome this and didn’t want to use it as a crutch in her life.

Are you using any crutches in your life that are stopping you from living life to the fullest? Do you have beliefs that are sabotaging your success? Do you want to want to break free from the beliefs that are holding you back?

Imagine what your life could be like if you did.

A Chance Meeting?

As I was standing up to deplane at Heathrow airport, I hear a voice behind me calling quietly “Is that you Lynn Robinson?”  When I turned around, I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Last year when I was speaking at the CANLP Conference, there was another speaker who I had always planned on meeting and never got around to it even though she lived fairly close to me.  There we were speaking on the other side of the country and we finally met.  We had both heard of each other and had planned to connect and just never did.

We were so excited to finally meet and hear each other speak.  We made an instant connection and decided we had to get together as soon as we returned home.  We both felt we were meant to do something together.

We did connect once on the phone, and our schedules just didn’t match up so unfortunately, we never did meet.

So there I was, hearing my name called behind me and when I turned around, guess who was there.  Yes, the same person.  What are the chances?

Once I turned around we talked non-stop until we had to separate because they were going on to Rome.   Now you could think this is just a coincidence, or you could think that something’s up and we are definitely meant to connect and explore how we might work together.

I’m not sure how many times we have to be placed in front of each other miles from home to get the message.

I’d say it’s time to pay attention and take action.

I’ll keep you posted on how we progress.

What about you?  Are there things in your life that keep showing up and you keep ignoring them?  Is it time for you to pay attention and take action?

I started to really think about creativity and how it impacts our success.  Creativity is a part of every new idea, and moves us from problem to solution.   Because creativity is a natural process, for most people it comes on it’s own and leaves on it’s own, which can be frustrating when you’re faced with a project that you have to complete and creativity is no where to be found.  The interesting thing about creativity is that it is stimulated by a specific brain speed.  Even though it is something that is naturally occurring the exciting thing is that we can learn to control and shift our brain state to access specific states of mind.

I stumbled upon this years ago when I was creating a script for one of my CD’s.  Up until that point, I felt I was only creative in the early morning.  I would wake up and immediately go down to my office, half asleep and sit in front of my computer and begin typing.  This worked well, except, for the fact that it limited me in my ability to create my script at any time of day.  When you’re working to a deadline and are only able to produce at a certain time of day, it can be stressful.

One day I decided if I could do this early in the morning, I could do it at any time.  I just had to figure out how.  All I needed to do was reproduce the same mindset at will.

I noticed how relaxed I was and that I was still almost in that waking/sleeping state when things just flowed for me.

All I had to do was recreate that state and I would be able to access my creative juices on command.  I began to play with this and sure enough, whenever I wanted to do some writing, or develop a new course, I would put myself in that deep relaxed state and I was able to access my creative flow.  Believe it or not, when I worked in this state, rarely were there any edits.

From a scientific perspective, what I was actually doing was changing the speed of my brain waves.  Our mind is so amazing and when we learn how to harness the power of our  mind, we open ourselves up to a whole new world of possibility.

Changing our brain speed is a naturally occurring process.   The lowest level of brain activity we encounter is Delta.  We access Delta during sleep.  As  our brain speed increases, we access Theta.  Theta is that special time between waking and sleeping, that time when we receive flashes of inspiration just before waking fully or just before falling asleep.  Theta is an ideal state for some types of accelerated learning, positive suggestions, and self-healing.  The next level is Alpha.  This is where creativity and relaxation reside.  By learning how to access the Alpha state purposefully, you are able to tap into your creativity at any time you choose.  It is also used in accelerated learning.  Training yourself to access Alpha is very useful as it greatly reduces stress.  For most people, it is physiologically challenging to experience stress in Alpha and also Theta.    The last level of brain speed I would like to share with you is Beta.  Beta is our normal waking state.  At this level, we often function in a more competitive state.

The most powerful aspect of this is that we can learn to change our brain speed.  Some of the ways we can do that is through meditation, relaxation techniques, guided visualization, focused breathing techniques and for some people prayer.

Another very effective way to shift your brain speed is with essential oil blends.  Based on the synergistic effect of the blends, we’re able to shift our brain state by stimulating the brain to naturally secrete the appropriate chemical response.

For me it all goes back to the power of the mind and a reminder that the more we learn to take control of our mind and our responses, the more we’re able to create what we want in our business and our life.

2001 started out as my best year as far as business goes.  I had been hired by a company out of New York and London, England to develop training programs and deliver them in some of the most amazing venues I had ever worked in.

At the end of August I was presenting in New York and flying on to London to present the same program.  We were delivering a leadership program to clients in the financial markets.

As usual I met some amazing people in each of the workshops and spent time with the leadership team doing some strategizing.

When I left London, the team was also leaving to set up for a trade show in the world trade center in New York.  They were so enthusiastic about the show.  Some of them were attending for the first time and were very excited about being a part of the event.

One of my best friends and also a business colleague, was supposed to be there for the set up.  He decided he would instead go on September 11^th.

As we awoke to the newsflashes about the twin towers, all I could think about was all the people who I knew would be attending the tradeshow.

I had no way of knowing if my best friend had already arrived or who was in the building at the time.  I tried to call London to find out if anyone knew anything only to find all circuits busy.

As I waited for news along with so many others, I remembered how each day we went through the World Trade Center to get the subway to the office.  I remembered the first time I went to Windows on the World in the trade center on the 107 floor of tower two, watching the planes fly at the same height we were at.

Finally I heard from my friend, he was just about to board when the first plane hit.  I was so grateful for his safety.  Now the wait for the rest of the news.

Unfortunately we lost most of the people in the New York office and the team from the London office.

The personal loss was very sad for so many people and yet everyone had to carry on.

I was asked to help coach the people who were left.  This was a great challenge and meant that I had to first reconcile things within myself before I could help others.

I had no idea just how much this would personally impact my life.  At the time all I could think of was the others who were impacted and how I could help.

Eight years later looking back there was no way of knowing the positive impact of this tragic event that would permeate our lives.

We saw differences put aside, acts of kindness, generosity, an outpouring of love and a real appreciation for the special relationships we have in our own life.  We cherished those special people and took nothing for granted.

Are we still living like that or have we forgotten?

Treasure each day because there is no going back.